I was listening to a DJ say that she didn't like to talk to her friends with children at this time of year because they no longer had goals for their lives. As though the mere act of having children had changed them so that they stopped worrying about their personal future and were therefore not worth interacting with. As a previously externally employed mother I find this somewhat upsetting. It is true that my life goals have changed significantly in the last eight years but I personally believe that they have changed for the better. I used to be the annoying person who sent out the Christmas cards the week after Thanksgiving and had all my presents purchased, wrapped, and delivered by the second week of December. Now I am the one who brings Christmas cheer during that boring week between Christmas and New Year by making sure to send out my cards a little late. Look at my lovely children, it will take away your post-Christmas doldrums. Oh, and as for my presents, you will get them if you should after Christmas so that you will feel the cheer of Christmas all week long. Why, not because you are not important, but because the only deadline I was worried about was the one my daughter gave me when she said "I wish I had a new dress for when I read at Christmas Eve service." This became my life goal for the pre-Christmas time. I had to finish the dress that she wanted made out of the fabric she bought with her own money. This became my life goal because I wanted her to know that her reading at service was the most important thing in my life at that moment. Eight years ago I was worried about my performance at work, did I make enough widgets to make my boss happy enough to give me a good review? Did my customer feedback forms come back? What did my co-workers think of my communication skills? These were my top concerns and rightly so as it was my job, I was paid well, and I had promised to do my best. I am glad that eight years ago I worried about those goals. Now, I am glad that I worry about completely different goals. This Christmas was a success, even though my presents were not out on time, my cards are still not done, my tree never got decorated (we still think it's pretty), and my house is not clean. My daughter read at service, all my children were well behaved and polite at various houses that were not ours, and my husband is relaxing. Oh, and we have an ice rink in the backyard so everyone can go exercise and leave me alone to do the laundry. I have hope that I will get my cards done, I will clean the house, and the homemade presents will get where they need to be without breaking. I would say that these goals are less prestigious than eight years ago in the eyes of other professionals but they are infinitely more rewarding because my raise this year will be smiles, hugs, cuddles, and thank yous from the only customers that will be there for the rest of my life. If these goals make me boring to those people without children, or without similar concerns, then too bad. Now to go finish my Christmas cards.
