Ok, so I am a little slow. I did not get Angry Birds as the first ap on my smart phone, mostly because my phone doesn't have enough memory. But, before you condemn me as not at all relevant to your life, we bought a tablet. My daughter begged my husband for Angry Birds and he installed it for her. So I started playing with her. In case you've never played this game it is touted as a physics game where you fling different birds at structures in order to kill pigs. There are all kinds of birds, bomb birds, fast birds, split apart birds, boomerang birds, etc. My husband recently grew concerned at how much time my daughter and I spent playing this game together and he asked me what I thought she could learn from it. Here's what I came up with....
1. Sometimes you save more time by just starting over when you realize you can't win.
2. Sometimes you have to wait and see what is going to happen, don't move on too quickly.
3. Sometimes you might think that your efforts are in vain because you feel as though you haven't accomplished anything, but you may have just given the one who comes after you the perfect set-up.
4. We all have different talents, yours will fit a certain situation perfectly.
5. Sometimes you hit a wall. Sometimes this is the only way to succeed.
6. Sometimes you will lose, it still feels good to give a pig a black eye. (I am not advocating violence.)
7. Sometimes you do more damage when you disappear.
8. Sometimes the little things are the hardest to deal with.
9. Sometimes it is more important how you attack a problem than it is how hard you hit it.
10. Sometimes you just need to spend time with the ones you love, it really doesn't matter what you do together.
Now, you know.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Monday, May 20, 2013
Shh, it's a secret
I was at the doctor with my son this weekend, don't worry he's on the mend, and I read an article in a parenting magazine. I know I shouldn't do this but it always makes me smile. I am sure that these people that write these magazines mean well, they are probably really trying to help people, they are also trying to sell magazines. I'm sure that the marketing department would get upset if they were brutally honest in these magazines. The article I read was titled "Common Causes of Stress for New Parents". I'm sure that many of their points were valid, however they left some stuff out. I'm sure that it's stuff they couldn't write about because it doesn't really sell magazines, but as I sat there reading the article I was rewriting it in my head, so here's my article.
Why Parenting is Frickin Hard (Mom, don't say frickin!)
When you first bring home your wrinkled, crying bundle of joy you will probably start to feel overwhelmed within the first week. You will ask yourself many things such as "Is he eating enough? Are these diapers the right size for her? Is he too hot? Why is she crying now? Did I get a boy or a girl?" among others. Some of these questions you will be able to answer during daylight hours after about three consecutive hours of sleep, some you may never answer. Also, your concerns and questions will depend on how you came about acquiring your child. If you had a nice regular labor and delivery you will have hormones in your body that you don't want and you will be filled with alternating urges to laugh, cry, scream, and giggle. If you had an emergency c-section you might be questioning yourself, your doctor, and all your previous decisions while also thanking everyone and everything that your baby is alive. If you had a scheduled c-section you are probably right there with the emergency ones, only your calendar might not be so messed up. If you adopted you are probably feeling immense pleasure that this one baby was created just for you to love. While you stare at their perfect features wondering how you came to be so blessed as to be the parent of this miracle you are starting to wonder if you knew what you were doing when you signed those papers. Don't worry, they say, you'll figure it out.
Here's a news flash, no matter how you became a parent you will, if you are any good at all, question your sanity. You will also feel as though you are making a mistake. Sometimes you will cry, not because you did something wrong, but often because you did something right. You will argue with people you love because you are tired, you will argue with people you don't know because you love your child. It's all normal. This creature that just took over your life is worth it. They will cause you stress you never imagined. Stress is caused by lack of sleep, questioning your abilities and decisions, changes you made to your life to allow this creature to take over your house and your heart, and changes in your relationships with others. Some of these stress inducing changes you saw coming, some will hit you on the side of the head like a two by four. When they surprise you they will be harder to overcome. You will often feel overwhelmed and that's normal too. If you have any extenuating circumstances you will feel all alone because you will be sure that no one else is going through what you are going through. HAHAHA. Ok, I'm done laughing at you now, but lately I've heard it all. "No one knows what it's like to have an illness with a newborn." "No one knows what it's like to have constant chronic pain and not be able to nurse or rock my baby." "No one knows how sad I am that my husband is so far away and missing these first months with our son." "No one knows what it's like to have this happen, this wasn't my plan." "I didn't really plan to have this child, it wasn't in the schedule right now." "No one knows how tired I am, I feel as though I'll never be myself again." You are not alone. Someone somewhere is saying the exact same thing. Right, so we've established that you aren't alone. It will not be easy to talk to others about your troubles, even if they are having the exact same ones because you will be busy trying to be the best parent you can be. That's ok too. Take time to breathe and realize that the main cause of stress for most good parents is the fear that if they mess up they aren't just messing up their life they are messing up the lives of their children. Now realize that if this is your fear you are a good parent.
Why is parenting so fricken (Mom don't say fricken) hard? The real reason is because we want to do the best we can and there's no way to know if we are doing it. In school we get grades and there are right answers. There's no grade for parents, there are also very few right answers. You try, you know you all do, you compare your children to those of your friends. You try to figure out if your son is better behaved than the one at the next table. You listen to parents in the public bathroom to see if their child is potty trained before or after yours. You ask perfect strangers leading questions to see if your children are superior to theirs. "So, how's your baby sleeping?" As though you could somehow determine that you are doing a good job. Don't worry in about 20-30 years you might know if you did something right or wrong. Doesn't that help?
Here's the real answer to whether or not you are doing it right. Does your child know, deep down, that you love them? Do you make a decision based on whether or not it's the best for your child? Do you honestly try your best to show love to your little one every time you are together? Then you are doing something right. Let the stress go so that it doesn't get in the way of loving your miracle. Easier said than done huh? Yep. It is hard to do, it's also worth trying to do. The laundry and the dishes will always be there, those little two legged mess-makers will leave someday, if you are a good parent, and you will not be able to hug them every morning or every night. Hug first. As my six year old reminded me, "Hugs are the only thing that when you give one you get one at the same time!" She's a genius and I'm sure it's not my fault!
Now stop crying and go hug the wee one and the not so wee one and don't worry so darn much. (Mom, don't say darn!)
Why Parenting is Frickin Hard (Mom, don't say frickin!)
When you first bring home your wrinkled, crying bundle of joy you will probably start to feel overwhelmed within the first week. You will ask yourself many things such as "Is he eating enough? Are these diapers the right size for her? Is he too hot? Why is she crying now? Did I get a boy or a girl?" among others. Some of these questions you will be able to answer during daylight hours after about three consecutive hours of sleep, some you may never answer. Also, your concerns and questions will depend on how you came about acquiring your child. If you had a nice regular labor and delivery you will have hormones in your body that you don't want and you will be filled with alternating urges to laugh, cry, scream, and giggle. If you had an emergency c-section you might be questioning yourself, your doctor, and all your previous decisions while also thanking everyone and everything that your baby is alive. If you had a scheduled c-section you are probably right there with the emergency ones, only your calendar might not be so messed up. If you adopted you are probably feeling immense pleasure that this one baby was created just for you to love. While you stare at their perfect features wondering how you came to be so blessed as to be the parent of this miracle you are starting to wonder if you knew what you were doing when you signed those papers. Don't worry, they say, you'll figure it out.
Here's a news flash, no matter how you became a parent you will, if you are any good at all, question your sanity. You will also feel as though you are making a mistake. Sometimes you will cry, not because you did something wrong, but often because you did something right. You will argue with people you love because you are tired, you will argue with people you don't know because you love your child. It's all normal. This creature that just took over your life is worth it. They will cause you stress you never imagined. Stress is caused by lack of sleep, questioning your abilities and decisions, changes you made to your life to allow this creature to take over your house and your heart, and changes in your relationships with others. Some of these stress inducing changes you saw coming, some will hit you on the side of the head like a two by four. When they surprise you they will be harder to overcome. You will often feel overwhelmed and that's normal too. If you have any extenuating circumstances you will feel all alone because you will be sure that no one else is going through what you are going through. HAHAHA. Ok, I'm done laughing at you now, but lately I've heard it all. "No one knows what it's like to have an illness with a newborn." "No one knows what it's like to have constant chronic pain and not be able to nurse or rock my baby." "No one knows how sad I am that my husband is so far away and missing these first months with our son." "No one knows what it's like to have this happen, this wasn't my plan." "I didn't really plan to have this child, it wasn't in the schedule right now." "No one knows how tired I am, I feel as though I'll never be myself again." You are not alone. Someone somewhere is saying the exact same thing. Right, so we've established that you aren't alone. It will not be easy to talk to others about your troubles, even if they are having the exact same ones because you will be busy trying to be the best parent you can be. That's ok too. Take time to breathe and realize that the main cause of stress for most good parents is the fear that if they mess up they aren't just messing up their life they are messing up the lives of their children. Now realize that if this is your fear you are a good parent.
Why is parenting so fricken (Mom don't say fricken) hard? The real reason is because we want to do the best we can and there's no way to know if we are doing it. In school we get grades and there are right answers. There's no grade for parents, there are also very few right answers. You try, you know you all do, you compare your children to those of your friends. You try to figure out if your son is better behaved than the one at the next table. You listen to parents in the public bathroom to see if their child is potty trained before or after yours. You ask perfect strangers leading questions to see if your children are superior to theirs. "So, how's your baby sleeping?" As though you could somehow determine that you are doing a good job. Don't worry in about 20-30 years you might know if you did something right or wrong. Doesn't that help?
Here's the real answer to whether or not you are doing it right. Does your child know, deep down, that you love them? Do you make a decision based on whether or not it's the best for your child? Do you honestly try your best to show love to your little one every time you are together? Then you are doing something right. Let the stress go so that it doesn't get in the way of loving your miracle. Easier said than done huh? Yep. It is hard to do, it's also worth trying to do. The laundry and the dishes will always be there, those little two legged mess-makers will leave someday, if you are a good parent, and you will not be able to hug them every morning or every night. Hug first. As my six year old reminded me, "Hugs are the only thing that when you give one you get one at the same time!" She's a genius and I'm sure it's not my fault!
Now stop crying and go hug the wee one and the not so wee one and don't worry so darn much. (Mom, don't say darn!)
Friday, May 17, 2013
What I cannot do
AAAHHHH.
There are some things I just can't do, and that is ok. Right????
We get this feeling that as mothers we are supposed to be able to do everything, then we meet other mothers who actually can do everything. If you are like me you also meet other homeschool mothers that make those other totally competent mothers look like slackers and you start to wonder why you don't just crawl under a rock because you would make a better snake than mother. Now breathe! That's an order.
Ok, I feel better. There are some things I just can't do, here are a few of those things along with my solutions:
1. Keep my house clean.
Instead: I sing a song, usually "Mess maker, mess maker, make me a mess" to the tune of Matchmaker from Fiddler on The Roof. Try it, you can make up the words as you go.
2. Grow plants in my house.
Instead: I visit my Mom, she has some awesome house plants. I look at them and think that someday I'll buy a grow light, and a timer, yeah right.
3. Keep my car clean.
Instead: I keep the driver's seat clean in hopes that my husband will not notice.
4. Follow a recipe.
Instead: I manage to make something edible from leftovers and whatever is in the house, which backfires as people request these meals again, then I have no idea what I did.
5. Sing.
Instead: I use funny voices to disguise the fact that I really cannot carry a tune. Good thing all my children seem much better at this than I am.
Hopefully this will help you all feel better about your week and make it possible for you to have a lovely weekend!
There are some things I just can't do, and that is ok. Right????
We get this feeling that as mothers we are supposed to be able to do everything, then we meet other mothers who actually can do everything. If you are like me you also meet other homeschool mothers that make those other totally competent mothers look like slackers and you start to wonder why you don't just crawl under a rock because you would make a better snake than mother. Now breathe! That's an order.
Ok, I feel better. There are some things I just can't do, here are a few of those things along with my solutions:
1. Keep my house clean.
Instead: I sing a song, usually "Mess maker, mess maker, make me a mess" to the tune of Matchmaker from Fiddler on The Roof. Try it, you can make up the words as you go.
2. Grow plants in my house.
Instead: I visit my Mom, she has some awesome house plants. I look at them and think that someday I'll buy a grow light, and a timer, yeah right.
3. Keep my car clean.
Instead: I keep the driver's seat clean in hopes that my husband will not notice.
4. Follow a recipe.
Instead: I manage to make something edible from leftovers and whatever is in the house, which backfires as people request these meals again, then I have no idea what I did.
5. Sing.
Instead: I use funny voices to disguise the fact that I really cannot carry a tune. Good thing all my children seem much better at this than I am.
Hopefully this will help you all feel better about your week and make it possible for you to have a lovely weekend!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
My son's first T-ball Game
Last Thursday my son played his first T-ball game. Let me start by explaining that the rest of his team has played about ten games by this time, but we were out of town so we missed those games. Yes, I am ok with missing them. I was sad, but now that I've been to a game, not so much.
At the beginning of the season they used the T to let the children hit the ball but as the season progressed they've now gone to the coaches giving each player five pitches. My son did not know this of course because we didn't know. So they made my son the lead-off hitter. Right. He didn't hit the pitch his first time at bat but he didn't let that bother him and when the coach told him to run to first base he ran as fast as he could. Now the whole team bats and no one counts outs and then it's the other team's turn to bat. Remember my son was the lead off batter, this means that unlike everyone else, there's no one on base in front of him. So of course when they told him to run to second he stole third. Why did he steal third, not because he wanted to score a run, because the pretty girl on the other team was playing third base. Yeah, that's my son. He waited of course to run until he absolutely had to and then didn't really step on home plate, but he turned back to smile at the girl as he ran to the dugout and almost ran into the kid coming up to bat.
The bottom of the first inning my son played first base. He was the best first baseman ever, just ask him. The coach told him where to stand and so he concentrated on standing there. My girls started cheering for him before the pitch, he looked angrily at us and said "Shh, you are distracting me!" so we had to stop cheering. He played first base like a pro, fielded the ball, got a couple kids out, wondered why they still got to stand on the base, threw the ball at the back of the coach, and didn't tackle his teammate. More on the tackling later. All in all a good first inning, don't worry there were only three innings.
Second inning he went up to bat first again, this time he hit the ball on the fourth pitch and ran his little heart out to first base. The little girl was playing right field, I saw him start over that way but then decided he didn't want to be too obvious. He didn't bother stealing a base this time around because all the other fielders were boys. Also, because she was in right field the run to the dugout from home plate was safer. He played out field during the second inning and only touched the ball once, but he did not tackle anyone.
Third inning he hit the second pitch and ran to first, beating the ball that was actually thrown well to the first baseman and the smile on my son's face made the entire hour worth it. I thought he was going to steal third again but the little girl was playing center field so he stayed on second a bit longer than he should have smiling at her. Then he got to play third base. This was his favorite because the little girl was the lead off batter so he got to talk to her when she was on third. After she left he played in the dirt the rest of the game. I figure that was pretty good for a four year old, he didn't play in the dirt until the last ten minutes of the game. Here's hoping every team we play has a pretty little girl for him to talk to, otherwise there's going to be a lot of playing in the dirt!
After the game we all told him how great he was and I asked him what he thought of T-ball. "Well Mom, I'm pretty sure we won. I think the other team didn't run as fast as we did. Mom, are you proud of me? I didn't tackle anyone. Then, when that other kid tackled the other guy I told them that you don't tackle in T-ball." Now I love my son and I enjoy a good baseball game, perhaps more than some people. I must say though if he's not that into T-ball next year we might try a different sport. I can watch him play in the dirt at home.
At the beginning of the season they used the T to let the children hit the ball but as the season progressed they've now gone to the coaches giving each player five pitches. My son did not know this of course because we didn't know. So they made my son the lead-off hitter. Right. He didn't hit the pitch his first time at bat but he didn't let that bother him and when the coach told him to run to first base he ran as fast as he could. Now the whole team bats and no one counts outs and then it's the other team's turn to bat. Remember my son was the lead off batter, this means that unlike everyone else, there's no one on base in front of him. So of course when they told him to run to second he stole third. Why did he steal third, not because he wanted to score a run, because the pretty girl on the other team was playing third base. Yeah, that's my son. He waited of course to run until he absolutely had to and then didn't really step on home plate, but he turned back to smile at the girl as he ran to the dugout and almost ran into the kid coming up to bat.
The bottom of the first inning my son played first base. He was the best first baseman ever, just ask him. The coach told him where to stand and so he concentrated on standing there. My girls started cheering for him before the pitch, he looked angrily at us and said "Shh, you are distracting me!" so we had to stop cheering. He played first base like a pro, fielded the ball, got a couple kids out, wondered why they still got to stand on the base, threw the ball at the back of the coach, and didn't tackle his teammate. More on the tackling later. All in all a good first inning, don't worry there were only three innings.
Second inning he went up to bat first again, this time he hit the ball on the fourth pitch and ran his little heart out to first base. The little girl was playing right field, I saw him start over that way but then decided he didn't want to be too obvious. He didn't bother stealing a base this time around because all the other fielders were boys. Also, because she was in right field the run to the dugout from home plate was safer. He played out field during the second inning and only touched the ball once, but he did not tackle anyone.
Third inning he hit the second pitch and ran to first, beating the ball that was actually thrown well to the first baseman and the smile on my son's face made the entire hour worth it. I thought he was going to steal third again but the little girl was playing center field so he stayed on second a bit longer than he should have smiling at her. Then he got to play third base. This was his favorite because the little girl was the lead off batter so he got to talk to her when she was on third. After she left he played in the dirt the rest of the game. I figure that was pretty good for a four year old, he didn't play in the dirt until the last ten minutes of the game. Here's hoping every team we play has a pretty little girl for him to talk to, otherwise there's going to be a lot of playing in the dirt!
After the game we all told him how great he was and I asked him what he thought of T-ball. "Well Mom, I'm pretty sure we won. I think the other team didn't run as fast as we did. Mom, are you proud of me? I didn't tackle anyone. Then, when that other kid tackled the other guy I told them that you don't tackle in T-ball." Now I love my son and I enjoy a good baseball game, perhaps more than some people. I must say though if he's not that into T-ball next year we might try a different sport. I can watch him play in the dirt at home.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
gold stars
This is meant to be an encouragement to other mothers so if you think I'm better than you, well, you are wrong!
I bribe my children. I said it. I do, I pay them for chores, I take them out to lunch and I promise them trips to the frozen treat store of the year down the street (it's been four different ones since we moved in 8 years ago). I never thought they would start bribing me, but they did.
My eight year old daughter is concerned with fairness, don't worry she knows life isn't fair. She said one day that it wasn't fair that her brother got paid for chores because he's 4 and she didn't get paid for chores until she was 6. I made an offhand comment that I don't get paid for anything anymore, unless you count hugs and kisses. She went away and came back with a plan.
She said that she didn't have enough money to pay me for chores, and it was clear to her that I didn't want money anyway, otherwise I would still be working so she would pay me in gold stars (stickers) and I could use those for things like back rubs, radio time in the car, and other stuff. I asked her what I could get gold stars for doing, did I get them for dishes, laundry, and sweeping up after my children. No, I did not. I got them for these things:
(list made by my three oldest)
5 stars for a hug
1 star for a real compliment
15 stars for ice cream
20 stars for going out to lunch
100 stars for a field trip
a bazillion stars for playing cars (you can guess who added that one)
5 stars for a good dinner
10 stars for reading a story
15 stars for telling a made up story
20 stars for a story from when you were little (when anyone in the family was little)
Now I know what is important to my children. I know what matters to them right now and I know what they think they need from me. I also know that any day I earn a star is a good day. Also, I need to work with my son on his numerology, but that might wait a few months because it's fun to hear him say "bazillion".
Now, go earn some gold stars people!!
I bribe my children. I said it. I do, I pay them for chores, I take them out to lunch and I promise them trips to the frozen treat store of the year down the street (it's been four different ones since we moved in 8 years ago). I never thought they would start bribing me, but they did.
My eight year old daughter is concerned with fairness, don't worry she knows life isn't fair. She said one day that it wasn't fair that her brother got paid for chores because he's 4 and she didn't get paid for chores until she was 6. I made an offhand comment that I don't get paid for anything anymore, unless you count hugs and kisses. She went away and came back with a plan.
She said that she didn't have enough money to pay me for chores, and it was clear to her that I didn't want money anyway, otherwise I would still be working so she would pay me in gold stars (stickers) and I could use those for things like back rubs, radio time in the car, and other stuff. I asked her what I could get gold stars for doing, did I get them for dishes, laundry, and sweeping up after my children. No, I did not. I got them for these things:
(list made by my three oldest)
5 stars for a hug
1 star for a real compliment
15 stars for ice cream
20 stars for going out to lunch
100 stars for a field trip
a bazillion stars for playing cars (you can guess who added that one)
5 stars for a good dinner
10 stars for reading a story
15 stars for telling a made up story
20 stars for a story from when you were little (when anyone in the family was little)
Now I know what is important to my children. I know what matters to them right now and I know what they think they need from me. I also know that any day I earn a star is a good day. Also, I need to work with my son on his numerology, but that might wait a few months because it's fun to hear him say "bazillion".
Now, go earn some gold stars people!!
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