This is inspired by some awesome parents I know who have lately been concerned about some of their shortcuts and other actions that they feel would not be appreciated by past generations. Here are some parenting things I do that would make one of my great-grandmothers laugh and some of her generation quite upset...
1. Breakfast for dinner. Some mornings you get up and make a wonderful hot breakfast for your family to start the day off right. Then some days you get around to that more toward the end of the day, probably because you started thinking about dinner around half an hour after everyone was "starving". This is good and healthy, it's called a memory.
2. Bath night happens sometimes. I am not saying that my children are unhealthy and filthy, they just aren't regularly soaped and scrubbed. Sometimes we just go to bed with a bit of earth between our toes. I used to worry about this, but lately I've decided that some things are more important.
3. I have no schedule for household chores. My grandmother always did/does laundry on Monday. She gets it all done on one day and she's all organized and ain't that special. I just toss a load in when I can and sometimes I remember to dry it and sometimes it gets folded and put away, so go me. I almost always do a load on Monday, does that count?
4. I let my children go days without changing out of their pjs. I know it's scandalous, but sometimes they don't actually get dressed. In fact sometimes my son wears only his underwear only all day long. This mostly happens in the summer, in the winter he gets cold and wears a hockey jersey with his underwear.
5. I let my children watch cartoons on Saturday morning. I just can't help it. Some of my best memories with my brother were watching cartoons and I want my children to have that too. Besides, how else would I have time to make them pancakes so we can have leftover pancakes for dinner?
6. I laugh at my children. Sometimes this is my only defense. I try hard not to laugh if they think they are hurt. Like tonight when my 5 year old was so tired she couldn't actually get in bed and I kept putting her in bed and she kept getting out to tell me something. I said "aren't you tired?" she actually yawned as she said, "no mom, not at all." I had to laugh, I had no other response.
7. I let my children dress themselves. This is actually my favorite. I love watching my children express themselves through pink shirts, purple shorts and vest, and red cowboy boots. This lets them feel confident and helps them learn to make decisions. I also secretly love shopping with spiderman, a pirate princess, and a cowgirl. My husband is sometimes mortified and embarrassed by what they choose, but if they are mostly dressed for the weather I say they look marvelous!
8. My children do not have a bedtime. Oh, they always go to bed between 5pm and midnight, I am very strict about that. I love home schooling for this reason. I don't like to have to wake my children up every morning or force them to stop doing something fun just to go to bed.
9. I let my children talk, and I actually listen to them. I do not subscribe to the "children should be seen and not heard." I find that my children say the most amusing things, but you have to listen to them in order to hear those things. I let my children guide the dinner conversation and I encourage them to tell me stories at bedtime. I love the stories they make up and I enjoy hearing what they remember from the day.
10. I let my children talk to strangers. I am convinced that a person they've never met is almost never a threat. I'm not saying that it's not possible, but I also don't want them to be afraid of people or the world in general. I don't teach them stranger danger. I teach them to be wary of odd people, or things that seem out of the ordinary. We often talk about "is that reasonable or normal?"
So, if you think you are a bad parent, or something you think is fine is something someone else says is wrong, maybe my "wrongs" will help you see that if you love your children and you are trying to do a good job, then you probably are doing just fine.
1. Breakfast for dinner. Some mornings you get up and make a wonderful hot breakfast for your family to start the day off right. Then some days you get around to that more toward the end of the day, probably because you started thinking about dinner around half an hour after everyone was "starving". This is good and healthy, it's called a memory.
2. Bath night happens sometimes. I am not saying that my children are unhealthy and filthy, they just aren't regularly soaped and scrubbed. Sometimes we just go to bed with a bit of earth between our toes. I used to worry about this, but lately I've decided that some things are more important.
3. I have no schedule for household chores. My grandmother always did/does laundry on Monday. She gets it all done on one day and she's all organized and ain't that special. I just toss a load in when I can and sometimes I remember to dry it and sometimes it gets folded and put away, so go me. I almost always do a load on Monday, does that count?
4. I let my children go days without changing out of their pjs. I know it's scandalous, but sometimes they don't actually get dressed. In fact sometimes my son wears only his underwear only all day long. This mostly happens in the summer, in the winter he gets cold and wears a hockey jersey with his underwear.
5. I let my children watch cartoons on Saturday morning. I just can't help it. Some of my best memories with my brother were watching cartoons and I want my children to have that too. Besides, how else would I have time to make them pancakes so we can have leftover pancakes for dinner?
6. I laugh at my children. Sometimes this is my only defense. I try hard not to laugh if they think they are hurt. Like tonight when my 5 year old was so tired she couldn't actually get in bed and I kept putting her in bed and she kept getting out to tell me something. I said "aren't you tired?" she actually yawned as she said, "no mom, not at all." I had to laugh, I had no other response.
7. I let my children dress themselves. This is actually my favorite. I love watching my children express themselves through pink shirts, purple shorts and vest, and red cowboy boots. This lets them feel confident and helps them learn to make decisions. I also secretly love shopping with spiderman, a pirate princess, and a cowgirl. My husband is sometimes mortified and embarrassed by what they choose, but if they are mostly dressed for the weather I say they look marvelous!
8. My children do not have a bedtime. Oh, they always go to bed between 5pm and midnight, I am very strict about that. I love home schooling for this reason. I don't like to have to wake my children up every morning or force them to stop doing something fun just to go to bed.
9. I let my children talk, and I actually listen to them. I do not subscribe to the "children should be seen and not heard." I find that my children say the most amusing things, but you have to listen to them in order to hear those things. I let my children guide the dinner conversation and I encourage them to tell me stories at bedtime. I love the stories they make up and I enjoy hearing what they remember from the day.
10. I let my children talk to strangers. I am convinced that a person they've never met is almost never a threat. I'm not saying that it's not possible, but I also don't want them to be afraid of people or the world in general. I don't teach them stranger danger. I teach them to be wary of odd people, or things that seem out of the ordinary. We often talk about "is that reasonable or normal?"
So, if you think you are a bad parent, or something you think is fine is something someone else says is wrong, maybe my "wrongs" will help you see that if you love your children and you are trying to do a good job, then you probably are doing just fine.
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