I have a list of things my children have to know before they can leave the house. This list is not all inclusive, it is a bare minimum, but it makes them think. I also use it to prove that they can't leave home yet, even when they think they know everything.
1. How to change a tire.
I realize with AAA this might be outdated, but what if they are somewhere without phone coverage?
2. How to change your oil.
I also realize that this might be outdated, but I don't want that guy at the quick lube place to be able to talk them into paying for something they don't need.
3. How to cook at least one breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
This is most important because I don't want them to starve, but also because I don't want them to come home every weekend.
4. How to do laundry.
This one is mostly because I know they are going to make a mess at least once in the first week away from home, but also because I really don't want them to come home every weekend.
5. How to find something to eat in any restaurant.
What, that's wacko you say? It's because if you go out on a date, or with a group of friends to a new restaurant and you are the one person that says only negative things about the menu then the people you are with will see you as negative. Then, it's very hard to make new friends. This could hurt them socially and career wise, what if one of those people is the next Bill Gates and you just ticked him off? Don't be that one negative person.
6. Know how to give a compliment.
Compliments go a long way with EVERYONE, this can help with grades in college, jobs, and friends. Also, giving compliments can make you feel good too.
7. Know how to take a compliment.
It's ok to just say "Thank you" this lets the other people feel good too.
8. Know how to find the answer.
Sometimes this means the internet, but not always. Sometimes it means a library, and sometimes it means... da da ta da... talking to someone. What? I know. I want my children to be able to ask someone else for help. This may be a stranger on a telephone, or in real life. I want them to be able to clearly communicate a question, in English, with decent grammar. Crazy isn't it?
9. Know how to write a letter, with instructions.
This is a personal pet peeve. Too many people can't actually write anymore. Oh, they can type and text and talk into the phone, but can you really just write a letter? How about telling someone how to do something, like how to get to your house, or how to feed your dog? These things might be important, if say, you have a dog and want someone to watch your dog and your house while you go skiing. You will have a decent job and be able to go skiing so you might want someone to watch your nice house and your friendly mutt while you go on vacation. If you can't tell them how to feed your dog it might ruin your ski trip when you have to pay the vet bill because the high school student couldn't understand your directions. Just saying.
10.How to perform basic first aid and CPR.
I'm not saying they have to be a certified nurse or famous doctor, although that's ok too. I'm just saying they need to know how to tell if they need stitches in the gash on their arm, or how to perform the Heimlich if their child is choking. It would be good to know because you don't want to wait at urgent care for four hours if there's no chance that bone is broken.
When they can prove that they know everything on this list I will let them consider going to college, although this is not everything they need to know, it's just a start. They also have to know history, English, and basic vector calculus. It's just a start.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
10 Things They Won't Tell You in The Parenting "Manual"
There are several new babies in our lives right now and I was discussing with my seven year old what it was like to be a new parent. She said "Isn't there a book or something?" Of course there is a book, many in fact, and I've read tons, but there are things that you learn "on the job" that aren't in the books. Here are my favorites, some of these aren't mine but were told to me and have proved true.
1. You will name your child and then at least once in the first year you will question this choice. It may be a subtle question in the back of your mind, but you will wonder if you indeed made the right choice.
2. At some point, usually in the first month, you will wonder when the last time was you actually took a shower. You will know the last time you bathed your baby, changed your baby, fed your baby, and watched your baby sleep but you will sniff yourself and wonder if you've even changed your shirt lately.
3. You will get frustrated with feeding your baby. Be it nursing (which is challenging by the way) or bottle, you will wonder if your baby is eating enough, or too much, or if you are indeed doing it right. Is the bottle too warm, too cold, did you pump enough for that 30 minute trip to the grocery store? Is it ok for your baby to fall asleep while eating? Is it ok for them to wake up famished and screaming to eat for one minute and fall back asleep? Yes. It's all normal because it's normal for your baby. Some babies like to eat every hour. This is normal. Some babies like to eat all their food in one two hour feeding per day. This is normal too. Do what works for you and your baby.
4. You will hurt your baby on accident and you will remember this moment for the rest of your life, this is why you will occasionally let them have ice cream at 9 pm on a school night. You may do this with the fingernail clippers, with the seat belt buckle, with a little splinter in their towel, the zipper on a sleeper, or the saline in their eye, it will be something you didn't see until after the fact and it will haunt you for a while. You are still a good parent. I would tell you to forget it, but you won't. That's ok too.
5. You will make important decisions about how you will parent before your baby is born. Co-sleeping, scheduled feeding vs on demand, bathing methods, nap times, pacifier use, and many others. You will change your mind about at least one of these in the first year. Probably because your little one will not comply. I had the nicest baby bath for my first one, who still prefers showers!
6. You will have at least one totally irrational fear, it will likely just be there in the back of your mind, it won't change your life, you will just live with it. It will be odd to everyone else and totally real to you. Some examples I've heard,
"What if a bee stings my baby?" (This baby was born in November)
"I'm worried he will scratch himself with his toenails so he always has socks."
"We don't want to burn her in the bath so we turned our water heater down to 90 degrees."
Keep these irrational fears, it's ok, just don't let them keep you awake at night for too long.
7. Your baby will smile one day and you will spend the next 20 minutes trying to get her to do it again. You will try everything, something strange will work and you will do it again and again and again, and start again the next time she's awake. You will repeat this activity until it stops working because you will do anything for that toothless grin. By the way, it might take you 100 tries to get a picture of it. It's ok, it still counts as a picture of her first smile.
8. You will wash something that is clean. I can pretty much guarantee this one. It might be a blanket or a towel or a pair of pants, it won't be a shirt of yours, those will never again be clean.
9. You will have at least one dream about laundry. This will likely occur after you've washed something clean, but it could be at any time. You will wake up wondering how such a little creature, with small clothes can single-handedly fill the laundry basket in one day.
10. You will compare your baby to other people's babies. You will try not to do this because you know it's wrong, but you will do it anyway. Don't worry, you are right, your baby is perfect.
1. You will name your child and then at least once in the first year you will question this choice. It may be a subtle question in the back of your mind, but you will wonder if you indeed made the right choice.
2. At some point, usually in the first month, you will wonder when the last time was you actually took a shower. You will know the last time you bathed your baby, changed your baby, fed your baby, and watched your baby sleep but you will sniff yourself and wonder if you've even changed your shirt lately.
3. You will get frustrated with feeding your baby. Be it nursing (which is challenging by the way) or bottle, you will wonder if your baby is eating enough, or too much, or if you are indeed doing it right. Is the bottle too warm, too cold, did you pump enough for that 30 minute trip to the grocery store? Is it ok for your baby to fall asleep while eating? Is it ok for them to wake up famished and screaming to eat for one minute and fall back asleep? Yes. It's all normal because it's normal for your baby. Some babies like to eat every hour. This is normal. Some babies like to eat all their food in one two hour feeding per day. This is normal too. Do what works for you and your baby.
4. You will hurt your baby on accident and you will remember this moment for the rest of your life, this is why you will occasionally let them have ice cream at 9 pm on a school night. You may do this with the fingernail clippers, with the seat belt buckle, with a little splinter in their towel, the zipper on a sleeper, or the saline in their eye, it will be something you didn't see until after the fact and it will haunt you for a while. You are still a good parent. I would tell you to forget it, but you won't. That's ok too.
5. You will make important decisions about how you will parent before your baby is born. Co-sleeping, scheduled feeding vs on demand, bathing methods, nap times, pacifier use, and many others. You will change your mind about at least one of these in the first year. Probably because your little one will not comply. I had the nicest baby bath for my first one, who still prefers showers!
6. You will have at least one totally irrational fear, it will likely just be there in the back of your mind, it won't change your life, you will just live with it. It will be odd to everyone else and totally real to you. Some examples I've heard,
"What if a bee stings my baby?" (This baby was born in November)
"I'm worried he will scratch himself with his toenails so he always has socks."
"We don't want to burn her in the bath so we turned our water heater down to 90 degrees."
Keep these irrational fears, it's ok, just don't let them keep you awake at night for too long.
7. Your baby will smile one day and you will spend the next 20 minutes trying to get her to do it again. You will try everything, something strange will work and you will do it again and again and again, and start again the next time she's awake. You will repeat this activity until it stops working because you will do anything for that toothless grin. By the way, it might take you 100 tries to get a picture of it. It's ok, it still counts as a picture of her first smile.
8. You will wash something that is clean. I can pretty much guarantee this one. It might be a blanket or a towel or a pair of pants, it won't be a shirt of yours, those will never again be clean.
9. You will have at least one dream about laundry. This will likely occur after you've washed something clean, but it could be at any time. You will wake up wondering how such a little creature, with small clothes can single-handedly fill the laundry basket in one day.
10. You will compare your baby to other people's babies. You will try not to do this because you know it's wrong, but you will do it anyway. Don't worry, you are right, your baby is perfect.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Last of November Thankfulness
21. I am thankful for the instant communication of our time. My nephew is currently being born and I am so excited, I would hate to have to wait for a letter or a visit, they live WAY too far away. I can't wait to see pictures, could you even imagine waiting for a week!
22. I am thankful for digital photos. I am so glad that I can take a bazillion pictures without worrying about how they come out because I will get lucky and have one good one. Then I can send them to family without actually having to touch paper. It's totally awesome.
23. My public library. I love story time that my children like. I like being able to check out books and not have to worry about paying for them, because if I had to pay for everything I read I would not have money for skiing.
24. Which brings me to seasons! I am thankful for seasons where I live. I could not live in endless summer, endless winter, or anything in between. I am so happy to have four very distinct seasons here, and I am very happy that we are getting to my favorite, SNOW!
25. I am thankful that for the most part my children get along and really truly love each other. I would be very sad if they didn't.
26. I am thankful that I can afford, both time and money, for my children to be in extra-curricular activities. I would like them to be in more, but I am glad that they enjoy their hobbies and I enjoy watching them grow confident in themselves.
27. I am thankful that my children can play by themselves for a little while. I don't want to totally leave them to themselves, I would fear for my walls and doors, but it's nice to get my sewing done while they are awake sometimes.
28. I am thankful that my husband has job skills that are in demand. I really am, even when they call him at 2 am to ask him to come in at 7 am, and even when he's working late, late. I'm really glad that he has his job, the job he wants that pays well and where people respect his skills.
29. I am thankful that my house is not connected to any other houses. I know this seems silly, but it is so nice to not worry at all about how much noise my children are making. I used to stress because the neighbors could hear them, so in addition to caring for a crying baby in the middle of the night I worried that my neighbors would be awake too. Now I can just care for the crying baby. It's a small change, but it's so nice.
30. I am thankful for modern medicine and health care workers who care. I know it's not perfect, and there are many problems with it, but I am thankful that I don't have to worry about my children dying from small pox or so many other illnesses.
This list is by no means comprehensive and will likely change tomorrow, but I figure it's important to remember all the blessings we have, big and small.
22. I am thankful for digital photos. I am so glad that I can take a bazillion pictures without worrying about how they come out because I will get lucky and have one good one. Then I can send them to family without actually having to touch paper. It's totally awesome.
23. My public library. I love story time that my children like. I like being able to check out books and not have to worry about paying for them, because if I had to pay for everything I read I would not have money for skiing.
24. Which brings me to seasons! I am thankful for seasons where I live. I could not live in endless summer, endless winter, or anything in between. I am so happy to have four very distinct seasons here, and I am very happy that we are getting to my favorite, SNOW!
25. I am thankful that for the most part my children get along and really truly love each other. I would be very sad if they didn't.
26. I am thankful that I can afford, both time and money, for my children to be in extra-curricular activities. I would like them to be in more, but I am glad that they enjoy their hobbies and I enjoy watching them grow confident in themselves.
27. I am thankful that my children can play by themselves for a little while. I don't want to totally leave them to themselves, I would fear for my walls and doors, but it's nice to get my sewing done while they are awake sometimes.
28. I am thankful that my husband has job skills that are in demand. I really am, even when they call him at 2 am to ask him to come in at 7 am, and even when he's working late, late. I'm really glad that he has his job, the job he wants that pays well and where people respect his skills.
29. I am thankful that my house is not connected to any other houses. I know this seems silly, but it is so nice to not worry at all about how much noise my children are making. I used to stress because the neighbors could hear them, so in addition to caring for a crying baby in the middle of the night I worried that my neighbors would be awake too. Now I can just care for the crying baby. It's a small change, but it's so nice.
30. I am thankful for modern medicine and health care workers who care. I know it's not perfect, and there are many problems with it, but I am thankful that I don't have to worry about my children dying from small pox or so many other illnesses.
This list is by no means comprehensive and will likely change tomorrow, but I figure it's important to remember all the blessings we have, big and small.
Monday, November 12, 2012
More Thankfulness
There are 30 days in November so here are the next 10 things..
11. I am thankful for my daughter's sensitive feelings, they sometimes cause many tears, but they also bring many special people into our lives.
12. I am thankful for my husband's desire to build an ice rink in the back yard, I wouldn't work that hard but I'm willing to make use of it when he does.
13. I am thankful for the ability to laugh. Mostly at myself, but anything funny is ok by me.
14. I am thankful for those around me that think I'm crazy. I am glad that they want to spend time with me and my children.
15. I am thankful that I have a washer and dryer my children can sleep through. If they couldn't, they would not have so many clean clothes.
16. I am thankful that I get to teach my children to read.
17. I am thankful that my oldest is reading books I read as a little girl, now I get to read them again.
18. I am thankful for the opportunity (read Mom watching my children), physical health and monetary ability to play hockey. In one second, for one hour, my world shrinks to the size of a sheet of ice and I am not a mother, a wife, a maid, a cook, a taxi driver, a social coordinator, a preschool teacher, a second grade teacher, a math tutor, or anything else that requires me to do something for someone else. I become a goalie and only a goalie, for that hour my only desire is to stop the puck. It's amazing!!
19. I am thankful that my mother taught me to sew. I am not as good at it as I'd like to be, but it is really fun to make things for my daughters, and to share sewing with them. I can't wait to see them wearing my creations and I love watching them make their own.
20. I am thankful for the ability to clean my own house and wash my own dishes. I am always tired of doing it, but I am thankful for the physical health I have that allows me to do it. I remember when my back was too bad to make my own bed and I am forever thankful that I can now make my bed every day.
11. I am thankful for my daughter's sensitive feelings, they sometimes cause many tears, but they also bring many special people into our lives.
12. I am thankful for my husband's desire to build an ice rink in the back yard, I wouldn't work that hard but I'm willing to make use of it when he does.
13. I am thankful for the ability to laugh. Mostly at myself, but anything funny is ok by me.
14. I am thankful for those around me that think I'm crazy. I am glad that they want to spend time with me and my children.
15. I am thankful that I have a washer and dryer my children can sleep through. If they couldn't, they would not have so many clean clothes.
16. I am thankful that I get to teach my children to read.
17. I am thankful that my oldest is reading books I read as a little girl, now I get to read them again.
18. I am thankful for the opportunity (read Mom watching my children), physical health and monetary ability to play hockey. In one second, for one hour, my world shrinks to the size of a sheet of ice and I am not a mother, a wife, a maid, a cook, a taxi driver, a social coordinator, a preschool teacher, a second grade teacher, a math tutor, or anything else that requires me to do something for someone else. I become a goalie and only a goalie, for that hour my only desire is to stop the puck. It's amazing!!
19. I am thankful that my mother taught me to sew. I am not as good at it as I'd like to be, but it is really fun to make things for my daughters, and to share sewing with them. I can't wait to see them wearing my creations and I love watching them make their own.
20. I am thankful for the ability to clean my own house and wash my own dishes. I am always tired of doing it, but I am thankful for the physical health I have that allows me to do it. I remember when my back was too bad to make my own bed and I am forever thankful that I can now make my bed every day.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Projects
November and December seem to be the months of projects in our house. I started the girls' Thanksgiving/Christmas dresses and some clothes for me, guess which ones will get done on time. Also, my daughters want to make presents for everyone again. I like the attitude but I am concerned that we don't start earlier. Are people just born as procrastinators? I've often wondered if it's just a personality thing or if I learned it somewhere. I always think things will take less time than they actually take. Of course my husband, we will call him Superman in regards to time management, never puts things off until the last minute. I need to improve this skill so that I can teach my children. Every year I agree to these crazy projects in order to improve our time management skills. Let's hope that this year my dreams become realities. Also, I am very glad that our friends and family are totally happy with the end results of our creative madness, it makes my children so happy.
Thankfulness in November
Lots of people are taking the month of November to post things they want to give thanks for in their lives. This is great, it is a good reminder of all the blessings we have. I was going to do this on my facebook status updates, but honestly my children are so awesome that people would get tired of me writing "I am thankful for my awesome children" every day so I decided I'll just do a blog entry and call it good. Then, as I started writing I realized that it's really easy to be thankful on those days when things are going well, when your children really are awesome, when your husband does your chores without saying anything, and when everyone wears only one change of clothes. What I struggle with is being thankful on those other days, when my children are awesome in the "how did that happen?" kind of way, when my husband calls at 7pm to tell me he needs to work "just a little longer" and when no one wears just one change of clothes. Here are the first 10 things I am truly thankful for in my life, on those Clark Kent days, when Superman is stuck in a phone booth.
1. I am thankful my husband works at a job he enjoys most of the time that pays well enough that I don't have to have a job I don't enjoy.
2. I am thankful that I found laundry detergent that cleans the clothes and doesn't give anyone in the family a rash.
3. I am thankful that my husband is not a picky eater so that the days when the children sneak food meant for dinner I can still make something he will eat and enjoy when he gets home from work.
4. I am thankful that I live in a country where I can vote so that I can take all my children to the polling place and listen to the snide remarks about how annoying children are from the astonished guy behind me when my children sit quietly while I vote.
5. I am thankful that I know what is causing the funny noise my car is making so I know that I don't have to pay to fix it right away.
6. I am thankful that I have a house to clean, even though my husband would like it cleaner.
7. I am thankful that my children are healthy and sleep well.
8. I am thankful that I know how to use a computer so I can stalk my brother on his Tumblr and know what shirt he's wearing every Friday. This is important because otherwise I might accidentally wear the same one.
9. I am thankful that my daughter gets frustrated at every little mistake she makes. It helps me put my mistakes in perspective.
10. I am thankful for the mess makers and toy breakers and their unfailing belief that I can clean and fix everything.
1. I am thankful my husband works at a job he enjoys most of the time that pays well enough that I don't have to have a job I don't enjoy.
2. I am thankful that I found laundry detergent that cleans the clothes and doesn't give anyone in the family a rash.
3. I am thankful that my husband is not a picky eater so that the days when the children sneak food meant for dinner I can still make something he will eat and enjoy when he gets home from work.
4. I am thankful that I live in a country where I can vote so that I can take all my children to the polling place and listen to the snide remarks about how annoying children are from the astonished guy behind me when my children sit quietly while I vote.
5. I am thankful that I know what is causing the funny noise my car is making so I know that I don't have to pay to fix it right away.
6. I am thankful that I have a house to clean, even though my husband would like it cleaner.
7. I am thankful that my children are healthy and sleep well.
8. I am thankful that I know how to use a computer so I can stalk my brother on his Tumblr and know what shirt he's wearing every Friday. This is important because otherwise I might accidentally wear the same one.
9. I am thankful that my daughter gets frustrated at every little mistake she makes. It helps me put my mistakes in perspective.
10. I am thankful for the mess makers and toy breakers and their unfailing belief that I can clean and fix everything.
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