There are several new babies in our lives right now and I was discussing with my seven year old what it was like to be a new parent. She said "Isn't there a book or something?" Of course there is a book, many in fact, and I've read tons, but there are things that you learn "on the job" that aren't in the books. Here are my favorites, some of these aren't mine but were told to me and have proved true.
1. You will name your child and then at least once in the first year you will question this choice. It may be a subtle question in the back of your mind, but you will wonder if you indeed made the right choice.
2. At some point, usually in the first month, you will wonder when the last time was you actually took a shower. You will know the last time you bathed your baby, changed your baby, fed your baby, and watched your baby sleep but you will sniff yourself and wonder if you've even changed your shirt lately.
3. You will get frustrated with feeding your baby. Be it nursing (which is challenging by the way) or bottle, you will wonder if your baby is eating enough, or too much, or if you are indeed doing it right. Is the bottle too warm, too cold, did you pump enough for that 30 minute trip to the grocery store? Is it ok for your baby to fall asleep while eating? Is it ok for them to wake up famished and screaming to eat for one minute and fall back asleep? Yes. It's all normal because it's normal for your baby. Some babies like to eat every hour. This is normal. Some babies like to eat all their food in one two hour feeding per day. This is normal too. Do what works for you and your baby.
4. You will hurt your baby on accident and you will remember this moment for the rest of your life, this is why you will occasionally let them have ice cream at 9 pm on a school night. You may do this with the fingernail clippers, with the seat belt buckle, with a little splinter in their towel, the zipper on a sleeper, or the saline in their eye, it will be something you didn't see until after the fact and it will haunt you for a while. You are still a good parent. I would tell you to forget it, but you won't. That's ok too.
5. You will make important decisions about how you will parent before your baby is born. Co-sleeping, scheduled feeding vs on demand, bathing methods, nap times, pacifier use, and many others. You will change your mind about at least one of these in the first year. Probably because your little one will not comply. I had the nicest baby bath for my first one, who still prefers showers!
6. You will have at least one totally irrational fear, it will likely just be there in the back of your mind, it won't change your life, you will just live with it. It will be odd to everyone else and totally real to you. Some examples I've heard,
"What if a bee stings my baby?" (This baby was born in November)
"I'm worried he will scratch himself with his toenails so he always has socks."
"We don't want to burn her in the bath so we turned our water heater down to 90 degrees."
Keep these irrational fears, it's ok, just don't let them keep you awake at night for too long.
7. Your baby will smile one day and you will spend the next 20 minutes trying to get her to do it again. You will try everything, something strange will work and you will do it again and again and again, and start again the next time she's awake. You will repeat this activity until it stops working because you will do anything for that toothless grin. By the way, it might take you 100 tries to get a picture of it. It's ok, it still counts as a picture of her first smile.
8. You will wash something that is clean. I can pretty much guarantee this one. It might be a blanket or a towel or a pair of pants, it won't be a shirt of yours, those will never again be clean.
9. You will have at least one dream about laundry. This will likely occur after you've washed something clean, but it could be at any time. You will wake up wondering how such a little creature, with small clothes can single-handedly fill the laundry basket in one day.
10. You will compare your baby to other people's babies. You will try not to do this because you know it's wrong, but you will do it anyway. Don't worry, you are right, your baby is perfect.
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