What I say, and what my children hear

I've had my children tested so I know they all have great hearing.  I think that their inability to hear me stems from a desire to not listen rather than a physical impairment, but I am constantly amazed at what they think I say.  There are definitely a few words they just flat out ignore, like "don't".  This word is apparently unheard at all times.  Examples include the famous, "don't run", "don't hit", "don't make a mess", and the less famous "don't bite your toenails", "don't write on the wall", and "don't burp so loudly".  They simply hear "run", "hit", "make a mess", "bite your toenails", "write on the wall", and "burp so loudly".  This is understandable, however, there are some things they just choose to hear differently.  Here are some examples I've noticed lately.

1.  I say, "Please clean your room, it is so messy that I can't even walk in there to turn off your light."

They hear, "Please walk in there and turn off your light."

2.   I say, "Put your shoes in the box in the closet so that when we need to go somewhere we can find them and we won't be late."

They hear, "Shoes go somewhere then we can be late."

3.  I say, "When you finish eating take your dishes to the sink, please."

They hear, "finish eating."

4.  I say, "Get dressed please so we can go soon."

They hear, "Go throw clothes on the floor in the closet."

5.  I say, "Please get in the car."

They hear, "Please run around outside."

Yep, now you know.